


I Think I'm In Love With You

by thesunandthestars



Series: As Told By Carswell Thorne [3]
Category: Lunar Chronicles - Marissa Meyer
Genre: Could Be Canon, F/M, Fluff, Rewritten Scene, Romance, Set during Winter, Thorne POV, but still POV third person, i really really loved writing this, spoilers for winter, this is one of my favorite parts in the whole series, thorne's in loooooove
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-12
Updated: 2018-05-12
Packaged: 2019-05-05 14:19:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14620482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesunandthestars/pseuds/thesunandthestars
Summary: "I think I'm in love with you."Chapters 70, 72, and 73 ofWinterthrough Thorne's POV since I had so much fun writing the last one! Cress and Thorne are on a mission in Artemisia Palace, but it doesn't go as planned...Rated teen and up for mentions of "companionship rooms". If you've read Winter, this is totally appropriate for you.





	I Think I'm In Love With You

**Author's Note:**

> All dialogue is from chapters 70, 71, and 72 of _Winter_ by Marissa Meyer.

It had been the second time in a few months that Carswell Thorne had walked into Artemisia Palace, but the first time he had done so through the front doors. He had also been blind before, when he, Dr. Erland, and Cress snuck into the hospital wing to let Dr. Erland perform the surgeries on Thorne that would give him his sight back. Still, even without a view of the palace before, it was oddly familiar. He supposed it was because Cress was beside him, wearing that ridiculous but surprisingly attractive orange butterfly dress. She had been by his side for the majority of the time they’d known each other, and Thorne was glad for that. He had felt responsible for her ever since their trip in the desert. She didn’t need protection though, he knew. She was the girl who single-handedly fed information to Luna from Earth for years, and took down the entire security system of Artemisia with a few keystrokes.

He shook off the thoughts and focused back on the palace. The main gates were wide open, beckoning them into the courtyards. All around them were huge pillars adorned with designs and statues of ancient moon gods and goddesses. There were guests everywhere, drinking from expensive-looking flasks and laughing. Thorne found that he was inching closer to Cress, trying to give her a sense of protection. He could tell she was nervous that someone would notice that he was an Earthen and she was a shell.

Thankfully, the aristocrats were too busy chatting with each other to notice Cress and Thorne. Obviously the light-up bowtie he had on and the frilly skirt Cress wore were working. 

Cress seemed to be getting more anxious by the second, so Thorne pressed a hand against her lower back and ignored the jolt in his stomach when she shivered slightly. It was getting harder to try to pay no attention to the way she made him feel. “Pretend you belong here,” he murmured, leaning down toward her ear, “and everyone else will believe it.”

Cress let out a slow breath and her eyes became slightly glassy, a sign that she was pretending. Thorne had began to notice when exactly her imagination was kicking in to alleviate some of her panic, and it was actually pretty endearing. He liked that she was a dreamer. It boosted her confidence, and confidence looked good on her.

“I am a criminal mastermind,” she whispered, “and I’m here to take down this regime.”

Thorne wondered how many times she’d heard that from him. He grinned, a flash of pride shooting through him. “That’s my line.”

“I know,” she replied, a tiny smug grin on her face. “I stole it.”

Thorne chuckled and led them inside right behind a group of aristocrats. How was it that she was so shy and unsure yet so clever? He doubted that she knew, but most girls weren’t like that. Girls like Cress were one in a million. Getting lost in the desert with her was probably the best thing that had ever happened to him, if he dared to consider it.

He could tell she was admiring the décor of the palace to take her mind off of her nervousness. She was so close that he could feel her heart beating with anxiety and her hands were clenched. He moved ever so slightly closer to her, trying to make her feel more comfortable and secure. She trusted him, he knew, perhaps more so than anyone else in the group. And he had no intention of ever breaking that trust. Cress was...different. There was something about her that made him _want_ to be trustworthy, made him want to drop his ways of conning and lying and become someone worthy of that trust. 

The thing was, he wasn’t exactly sure how to go about doing that. Their relationship was strange, to say the least. She had been in love with him for a while, and when he asked her to clarify her feelings she didn’t respond. That could have meant she was over him, but he suspected otherwise. Every time he snuck a glance at her to take a peek at her bright blue eyes or golden hair or the constellation of freckles across her nose and cheeks, she looked away, her face reddening. 

Why was it so hard for her to tell him the truth?

Why was it so hard for _him_ to tell _her_ the truth?

Now that heーand evidently the rest of the crewーhad recognized his feelings toward Cress, it was impossible to ignore them. She was a bit naïve, yes, but that came from nine years on Luna and seven more in a satellite hurtling through space. More importantly, she was sweet, brave, selfless, and really pretty. Not to mention an absolute genius. It was a little intimidating, if he was to be honest.

And what was he going to do if something happened to her? He couldn’t let himself love herーif that’s what it was he was feelingーif she wasn’t going survive the revolution. How would he ever be able to live with the guilt and pain? She was the first girl, the _only_ girl that mattered, and so he was going to have to tell her how he felt, sooner or later.

Just as they were passing a large statue of what he assumed was the goddess the city was named afterーArtemisーand another group of aristocrats wearing extravagant clothing, a man with a servant uniform and the strangest green hair Thorne had ever seen took a step closer to them. “Good day,” the man said.

Thorne’s fingernails dug into Cress’s back, and he braced himself. Thankfully, the man didn’t seem to be able to detect Thorne’s bioelectricity and Cress’s lack of it.

“We are glad you have come to enjoy the festivities on this most celebrated day,” the servant continued. “Please enjoy the comforts our generous queen has laid out for her guests.” 

Thorne almost snorted out loud. Queen Levana was anything _but_ generous. 

“In this wing,” the man continued, gesturing, “you are free to enjoy our menagerie, full of exotic albino animals, or listen to an assortment of musical performances that will be taking place in our grand theater throughout the day.” 

Thorne glanced at Cress, feeling impatient. They had a job to get done, but it would be suspicious and rude to excuse themselves from the conversation. One-sided conversation, anyway.

“This way there is an assortment of game rooms should you care to test the providence of luck, as well as our renowned companionship roomsー _not_ that the gentleman is in need of further companionship.”

If they weren’t on a saving-the-world mission, Thorne would have detoured them to the companionship rooms. What better way to confess to Cress than to back her up against a wall and press his lips to hersー

“Of course,” the man was saying, “a variety of refreshments are available throughout the palace. The coronation ceremony will begin at sunrise and we ask that all guests begin to make their way to the great hall at half before. For the safety of all our guests, there will be no continued access to the corridors once the coronation has begun. If you require anything to make your day more pleasurable, please let me or another courier know.”

Finally finished with his speech, the man turned to welcome another group of guests and Thorne steered Cress away. He glanced down one of the halls. “What do you suppose he meant by ‘companionship rooms’?” he asked, trying to sound innocent.

Cress shot him a glare. Obviously, she was not looking to waste time. _Got it._ He cleared his throat. “Not that I’m tempted to...or...this way, right?”

“You two seem lost,” someone purred, and Thorne was quick to turn and tuck Cress behind him. She placed a hand lightly on his arm.

There were two women leaning against a pillar not far from Thorne and Cress, both wearing blindingly sparkly dresses with their hair piled high on their heads. One of them was wearing glasses that were equally as glitzy.

The woman with the glasses let her gaze travel over Thorne, and her glasses slid down her nose slightly. “Maybe we can help you find your way?”

 _No distractions._ He flashed his most heart-melting grin and hoped they wouldn’t start up a conversation. “Flattered, ladies,” he responded. “We’re on something of a covert mission right now, but we’ll keep our eye out for you at the coronation.”

“Ooh, a covert mission,” the other woman swooned. “I will want to hear _that_ story later.”

Thorne winked. “I will want to tell it.” He wrapped his arm around Cress’s shoulders and led her away. Once they had gone far enough that no one would hear him, he whistled. “Holy spades. The women in this place.”

Cress bristled, glancing up at him briefly. He immediately felt a pang of guilt. “You mean, the _glamours_ in this place. One of them was a man.”

Thorne stumbled and looked down at her. _Really?_ He had never realized that a Lunar could change their appearance _that_ much. “You don’t say. Which one?”

She paused. “Um...the one wearing glasses?”

 _Go figure._ Thorne glanced over his shoulder to see if he could spot the couple. “Well played, Lunars.” He faced forward again. “Jacin said to take the third hallway, right?” He led them down the hall, huge floor-to-ceiling windows surrounding them. The gardens could be spotted down below.

“Try to keep in mind that they can make themselves look however they want to,” said Cress. “No one in this palace is as beautiful as you think they are. It’s all just mind control.”

He could think of at least one exception, but there was no way he was going to straight-out tell her. Plus, he didn’t think now was the best time for a confession. Still, he squeezed her closer to his side and grinned. “I’m fairly certain there’s at least one exception to that rule.”

She rolled her eyes, obviously not getting the hint. He could detect a bit of jealousy in her tone when she spoke. “Yeah. Thaumaturges.”

He laughed, dropping his arm back to his side and focusing back on the hallways in front of them. Quickening his pace, he headed for the end of the corridor and was about to turn when he realized Cress wasn’t at his side.

Thorne swiveled on his heels, scanning the corridor for her before his gaze landed on Cress a few feet away. She was eyeing him with a look he didn’t recognize on her, and she took a few steps closer to him. 

His brain felt all muddled and he looked around at the rest of the guests, but they didn’t seem to notice. _What_ was she doing? Where was the confidence coming from?

“I thought I sensed an Earthen boy,” Cress was saying as she traced the lights in his bowtie. He shuddered. “And a well-dressed one at that. What a lucky find.”

He was barely paying attention to her words. Emotions he didn’t recognize were running through his body and he was sure his face was on fire. Even though she was a entire foot shorter than him, she seemed so much more powerful than usual. 

This was what he wanted. He _wanted_ her. He didn’t think to care that this Cress was not the Cress he knew. He couldn’t really think at all. All he recognized was the darkening of her eyes and the desire coursing through his veins. 

She took one step closer and promptly wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. 

\--

Every thought flew out of Thorne’s head as she brought her lips to his. This kiss was different than the one on the rooftop. That one had felt sweet and innocent and oh so gentle. _This_ one, however, felt dangerous and passionate. He wrapped his arms around her and drew her closer, hoping to convey all that he felt into the kiss. 

After what felt like hours they broke apart, both breathing heavily. “You’ve been wanting that awhile, haven’t you?” Cress asked, breathless. 

_Yes._ How did she know? Could she tell how much he’d wanted that? Could she tell how long he’d loved her even though he hadn’t known it himself?

He loved her. He _loved_ her. It made so much sense. That was why he felt so open and vulnerable around her. Why he felt so...empty when they left her behind. Why he wanted, _needed_ to be a different person around her, one that she deserved. Why his stomach warmed when she gave him one of her sweet, innocent smiles. Why he was so impressed that a five-foot-tall computer genius who had lived on a satellite half her life could render him useless. 

And all he had to do was tell her. 

“I think I’m in love with you.”

Cress giggled, but it wasn’t Cress’s giggle. “Oh, aren’t you just _darling_? And not a bad kisser, either. Maybe we can enjoy more of each other’s company later?” There was a snap in his brain, a release of tension, and the woman standing before him was no longer Cress. The woman was tall and brunette, and she winked at him before sashaying down the hall with a group of Lunars. 

It all clicked in an instant. _He’d been manipulated._ How could that have happened? He was sure it was Cress that he was kissing. The one that he had confessed his love to. 

Then where was the real Cress?

He spun around in a full circle, smoothing down his hair. The knot in his stomach grew when he couldn’t spot her. “Cress?” he asked, and when she didn’t reply, he repeated himself louder. “Cress!”

“I’m here.”

She stepped out of an alcove and he exhaled in relief. “Spades. I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened. That wasー”

“I don’t want to know.” She pushed away from the wall and started briskly down the hallway. 

Thorne caught up to her, reaching a hand out. “Whoa, hey, hold on. Are you mad?” 

She stared at him incredulously. “Why would I be mad?” She swung her arms wildly. “You have the right to flirt with and kiss and proclaim your love for whoever you want to. Which is good, because you _do_. All the time.”

How couldn’t she tell how he felt? Wasn’t it obvious? “So…” he started. “You’re jealous?”

“You do realize that all she wanted was to get a laugh at your expense, right?”

He chuckled. She was right; it didn’t mean anything. Why was she so upset? “Yeah I get that _now_. Cress, wait.” He grabbed her elbow and she stopped. “I know they can’t do it to you, but the rest of us can’t _choose_ not to be controlled by them. She manipulated me. It wasn’t my fault.”

She rolled her eyes. “And I suppose you’re going to say that you didn’t enjoy it?”

He opened his mouth. What could he say? He had thought it was her. “Er. Well…”

She ripped her arm away, tears glistening in her eyes. “I know it wasn’t your fault. But that doesn’t excuse _everyone else._ I mean, take Iko!”

What was she talking about? “What about Iko?”

She dropped her voice, mimicking him. “ _‘I really know how to pick them, don’t I?’_ ”

 _She’s good._ He chuckled. “It’s the truth, isn’t it? Her new body is gorgeous.” He was glad Iko was so pleased with the escort-droid body. It fit her well. 

Cress glared at him intensely for a few beats. He gulped. “That was clearly not the right thing to say. Sorry. But I'd just gotten my eyesight back.”

The tears in her eyes were now threatening to spill. “Yeah, and all you wanted to look at was _her_.”

Thorne blinked. She didn’t know. How did she not know? He thought he had made it obvious how much he loved her. But now that he’d kissed some stupid Lunar and screwed it all up, how was he supposed to tell her?

“Never mind. Let’s justー”

“Pardon me.”

A man with the uniform of a palace guard blocked their path, holding one hand out to stop Cress. There was another guard behind him. Cress gasped and backed up into Thorne, and he grabbed her elbow for protection. 

“We are asking that all guests begin to make their way to the great hall so the coronation can begin without delay,” the first guard was saying. “Please proceed this way.”

Thorne was quick to call up his signature grin. “Of course, thank you. We must have gotten turned around.”

Once they’d turned a corner and the guards were no longer in sight, Cress yanked her arm out of his grasp. Thorne immediately looked around. Wasn’t there an atrium somewhere? He thought he’d seen one on the blueprints Cinder had shown them. 

“Stop here,” Thorne said, backing Cress against a wall and eyeing the door to her right. Cress’s face reddened and her fists were clenched. She stared at his shoulder, obviously avoiding his gaze.

He sighed. How were they supposed to continue with the mission if she was so angry at him? “Cress. I know you’re upset, but could you pretend not to be for a second?”

She shut her eyes briefly, and when they opened, her expression had shifted into one that was cheerful and not at all heartbroken. 

Thorne raised an eyebrow. She was certainly full of surprises. “That’s uncanny.”

She exhaled shakily. “I’m a girl too, you know. I may not be as pretty as Iko, or brave like Cinder or bold like Scarletー”

His thoughts scattered. “Wait, Cressー”

But she cut him off. “And I don’t even want to know what dumb thing you said when you met Princess Winter for the first time.”

Thorne clamped his mouth shut, her tone stinging. Great. He’d screwed up even when Cress wasn’t there to witness it. 

“But I’m not invisible! And yet you flirt with every _single_ one of them. You’ll flirt with anyone who so much as _looks_ at you.” He could feel her emotions rising off of her. He could feel how much she was hurting. 

“You’ve made your point,” he responded stubbornly. Why couldn’t he just tell her right here? Would she believe him?

“This is what you were trying to tell me, wasn’t it?” Her voice wavered, the sound like a stab to Thorne’s gut. “In the desert. When you were going on and on about how I’m so _sweet_ and how you didn’t want to hurt me and...You were trying to warn me, but I was too much of a...a naïve, hopeless romantic to even listen to you.”

She didn’t understand. In the desert, he was just uncomfortable with her believing in him so completely. No one had ever thought that highly of him, and so when Cress decided that he was worth being in love with, it scared him. He was trying to protect her so that he didn’t let her down. “I didn’t want to hurt you.”

She crossed her arms over her chest defensively. “I know. It’s my own fault I’ve been this stupid.”

Thorne flinched, embarrassed and ashamed. He glanced around them, noting the few remaining guests wandering around and thankfully paying them no attention. Reaching around Cress, he pulled open the door he had noticed earlier and she stumbled inside, surprised. He closed the door behind them and watched as she surveyed the room.

It was the atrium he’d seen on the blueprints. He didn’t look around, though. Rather, he was watching Cress, trying to figure out what to say to her. The last thing he wanted to do was say something stupid and make her even more upset. 

“Good,” he said, mostly to break the silence. “I thought I remembered something about an atrium. We’ll wait here until the halls clear. I’m hoping we can cross into one of the servant halls and avoid any more run-ins with guards for a while.”

Cress stepped away from him, obviously lost in thought. He doubted they were good thoughts. She was obviously extremely upset, and it was all his fault.

“Cress...listen…”

He reached for her, his fingers brushing her wrist, but she jerked her hand away. “Don’t. I’m sorry. That wasn’t fair of me. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

Thorne sighed. _It’s my fault_ , he wanted to tell her. _I messed it up. I was the one who broke your heart._ He ran a hand through his hair and stared at the back of her head, willing her to turn around. She started fiddling with the plant in front of her and he could tell she was avoiding his gaze. Again.

There was so much he wanted to say to her. He wanted to tell her how sorry he was for hurting her, how that had never been his intention. He wanted to tell her that he loved her, _really_ loved her. But would she believe him? She knew how often he had thrown around the phrase like it was something to take advantage of. She knew how unworthy he really was of whatever she felt for him. 

He really hoped she was still in love with him, even though he’d just given her every reason to give up. Now that he knew what he was feelingーand it was the first time he’d ever felt itーthere was no way he could let the opportunity go. He knew he’d never find another girl like her. But did she really want to take her chances with someone who would eventually just mess it all up and stomp all over her heart? He may have claimed to be an expert with the ladies, but he had no idea what he was doing when it came to Cress.

“How much longer are we waiting here?” Cress asked, the emotion still clear in her voice.

Thorne dug the portscreen out of his suit jacket pocket and turned it on with a _click_. He glanced at the screen. “A few more minutes, just to make sure they’ve rounded up the slower guests.”

She nodded, the antenna balls on her headband bouncing. She still had her back to him.

Thorne sighed again. “Cress?” _Please just turn around._

She shook her head and turned to face him, her expressions well masked. “I’m all right. I just don’t want to talk about it.”

Thorne leaned back against the door, hands in his pockets. He looked straight into her eyes, considering her. Her face seemed to redden, but it could’ve been a trick of the light.

There was only one thing to do, then: kiss her.

Okay, maybe it was a stupid idea. But what if it was what she wanted?

In the time after their kiss on the rooftop, Thorne had imagined what it would be like to kiss Cress again. Daydreaming was for children, he knew, but he couldn’t help it. The kiss had been one of the best moments of his life, mostly because it had felt so _right_. It had never felt like that to kiss other girls in his past. And if what he was feeling for Cress was actually loveーhe hoped it was, but honestly how could he tell?ーthen he needed to do something about it. And that, he could do.

“All right,” he said finally, knowing Cress was unaware what was going through his head. “I don’t want to talk about it, either.”

Cress nodded, but as Thorne pushed away from the door and took a few steps toward her, she stumbled back and her mouth opened. “Whatー?” She hit one of the desks, but Thorne kept moving closer. 

In one fluid movement, Thorne grabbed her by the waist and lifted her up onto the desk, propping her up against a potted fern while simultaneously pressing his lips to hers.

That weird feeling in Thorne’s stomach sparked, warmth overtaking his whole body. _This_ was what he wanted. _This_ was what he had been missing. His hands were still on Cress’s waist and he pulled her closer, her knees hitting his hips. She whimpered and twisted her fingers in his hair, pressing her body against his. He moaned and pulled her even closer, like he couldn’t get her close enough.

 _He loved her._ It was the same thought he had had when kissing the Lunar womanーwho he, in his defense, thought was Cressーbut this time, it felt so much more right. It had to be love. If it wasn’t, what was? His head was pounding and he felt dizzy, but in the best possible way. She tasted sweet and sugary, and he remembered the gourmet cookies they had found in the mansion they had stayed in to fix Cinder and snag some outfits for the coronation.

The kiss on the rooftop had been much too short for his liking, so he kept his lips pressed against Cress’s until his lungs were about to burst. She gasped and pulled away first, her eyes flying open. 

Thorne leaned his forehead against hers and let himself get lost in her bright blue eyes. As soon as he had caught his breath enough to talk, he tried one, simple word. “ _Cress_.”

She shivered, and her hands moved to his chest. She pushed him away slightly, and he frowned. 

“This…” Her voice caught, and her eyes shifted to the side. “This isn’t what I wanted.”

He’d read her wrong. How had he read her wrong? He was sure that she wanted him. Wasn’t she in love with him? She had admitted it just a few minutes before, but maybe she couldn’t forgive him for kissing the Lunar girl. Maybe she’d given up. Maybeー

“I mean, it _is_ ,” she clarified. “Obviously, it is.”

 _Thank the stars._ He exhaled, a grin sliding onto his face. Of course this was what she wanted. She was in love with him, after all.

“But...not to be just another girl,” she said. “I never wanted to be just another one of your girls.”

Thorne’s smile disappeared just as soon as it had come. How was he supposed to tell her how he felt about her? Why couldn’t he tell her? Why couldn’t he explain the fireworks that went off in his stomach whenever they touched?

“Cress…” he started. He took a deep breath to stabilize himself. “She looked like you.”

Her eyes met his. “What?”

“The girl in the hallway, the one that kissed me. She looked like you.”

Her eyes narrowed. “That’s ridiculous. She was brunette, and tall, andー”

“Not to me.” Thorne’s hand twitched and he tucked a strand of Cress’s hair behind her ear. She leaned into the touch slightly. “She must have seen us walking together. Maybe she saw how I looked at you or something, I don’t know, but she knew...she made her glamour look like you.” _I thought it was you._

Her lips parted, and she stared at him. He found his gaze traveling to her lips again.

“I thought I was kissing you,” he confirmed, brushing her lips with his once, twice. Cress pulled him closer by the lapels.

His lips had just brushed hers again when suddenly, she yanked away. “But...you told her you loved her.”

He froze. This was the moment to tell her. So why couldn’t he? Why was it that he was always tongue-tied around her?

After an eternity, Thorne gulped. “Right. That.” He shrugged, trying to play off his uncertainty. “I mean, I was...we wereー”

He didn’t get to finish his sentence, though, because right then the door behind them banged open.

\--

They both froze. Thorne’s gaze shifted to the doorway quickly before he leaned just an inch closer to Cress. “To be continued?” he whispered.

Cress nodded, looking dazed, which caused Thorne’s heart to skip a beat. Remembering the interruption, he spun around, shielding Cress from the intruder. It was a palace guard, holding a device to his mouth and scowling. “It’s just a couple of guests,” he said into the device. He nodded at Cress and Thorne. “I need to ask you to move along. All corridors and public spaces need to be cleared prior to the start of the ceremony.”

Thorne cleared his throat and adjusted his jacket and bow tie. _Right. They were on a mission._ “So sorry. I guess we just...got carried away.”

There was a soft tug on Thorne’s sleeve, and he looked down to see Cress plucking a fern leaf off of his jacket, her cheeks more flushed than he’d ever seen them. 

“We’ll just be moving along, then.” Thorne picked up Cress’s antenna hat that had fallen to the floor and handed it back to her. She fumbled with the straps, her hands shaking, but he knew he didn’t have time to help her. They had to leave before the guard recognized them.

“Thanks for letting us borrow the place.” Thorne winked at the guard and wrapped his arm around Cress’s waist, ushering her out of the atrium. After they’d turned a corner and the guard was no longer in sight, Thorne exhaled slowly in relief. Hopefully they could avoid guards for the rest of the mission. “Try to act natural,” he said to Cress.

After a long pause, Cress made a sort of choking nose before starting to giggle quietly. Soon she was buckling over with laughter.

Thorne stared straight ahead, but a smile grew on his face. “Not quite what I had in mind,” he muttered, “but sort of charming all the same.”

“I’m sorry.” Cress gasped the words and coughed. It looked like she was trying to contain her laughter for a second but she doubled over again. 

Her laughter was really cute and it was totally doing that weird stomach-warming thing to him, but he ignored it and tightened his grip on her waist. “Um. Cress. You’re adorable, but I need you to focus for a second. We’re lucky that guard didn’t recognize either of us, but if heー”

“Hey! Stop!”

 _Oh, aces and spades._ He cursed and grabbed Cress’s hand. “Run!”

They turned corner after corner until he led them into an alcove with an almost-invisible door, one that he hoped led to the servants’ halls. That was what the blueprint had said, anyway.

He threw open the door and thankfully, the space before them seemed to be a servants’ hall. “Left!” he ordered, letting go of her hand just long enough to wedge a tray he plucked off of a cart into the door, hoping it would stay shut. He caught up with Cress easily, who was still running, and pulled the gun out of his suit jacket pocket. “Still have that chip?”

Cress pressed her hand against her hip and nodded, apparently feeling the chip. “Good,” Thorne replied.

He glanced over Cress’s head at an gigantic wheel of electrical cording and slammed into her without warning, pushing them both behind it. She hit the wall hard and he winced, feeling guilty. He hoped he didn’t hurt her.

He quickly considered their options. “Two corridors back there was an elevator,” he started. “Find a place to hide, then get to the security center. I’ll draw them off and circle back around to find you.”

Cress’s eyes widened. “No. You can’t leave me, not again. I can’t do this without you.” She was practically pleading.

Thorne sucked in a huge breath, trying to calm his racing heart. “Sure you can. It won’t be as much fun, but you’ll figure it out.”

There was a crash in the distance and footsteps thundered toward them. How had the guards gotten the door open?

Cress squeaked and whipped her head toward the noise, eyes widening even further. 

“I’ll find you,” Thorne whispered. She turned back at him and her gaze dipped so quickly to his lips that he could’ve been imagining it. Thorne pressed a quick kiss against her mouth, feeling Cress’s whole body soften. He found her hands and closed them around the gun. Leaning his forehead against hers, he murmured, “Be heroic.”

He took off running again, leaving Cress behind the cording, and glanced over his shoulder. Two guards were behind him, and spotted him as soon as he turned to look. “There!” one yelled.

Thorne sped up, practically flying past equipment strewn about and storage cabinets covering the walls. He turned a corner and debated whether or not to knock something over to block the guards’ path, but they came skidding around the corner and he had no time to look around for ideas. A few gunshots rang out, and one bullet buried itself in the skin above the back of his knee.

He groaned and tripped over a pile of cording but kept running. Every move sent jolts of pain up his leg but he ignored them and ran as fast as he could. Hopefully Cress had already started making her way to the security center. 

“Stop!” 

Another shot hit the same spot on Thorne’s leg and pain exploded throughout his whole body. He cried out, dropping to the floor. He winced in pain and bit his lip, turning to face the guards. They stopped at his feet and eyed him, almost bored.

He decided to try to sound nonchalant. “All this over a pesky Earthen? You guards are pathetic.”

The first guard rolled his eyes, unconcerned. “He is definitely one of the cyborg’s allies.” A grin snaked onto Thorne’s face. _They recognized me!_ “The question is, what are you doing in the palace?”

His leg was throbbing. “Just kissing my girl,” he replied, voice cracking slightly. His mind wandered to Cress. Was she at the security center yet? Had she been caught too? “I didn’t realize that was a...a capital offense around here.”

The same guard who had spoken before raised an eyebrow. “Where is the girl you were with?”

“I think you scared her off,” Thorne replied, lying easily.

The guard sighed. “We don’t have time for this.” He waved the second guard closer. “Put him in a holding cellーwe’ll deal with him after the coronation. I’m sure he’ll make a delightful Earthen pet for one of the families.” Thorne almost laughed. “And keep looking for that girlーalert me the moment you find her. Increase security around the great hall. They’re plotting something, and Her Majesty will kill us all if the ceremony is interrupted.”

The second guard grabbed Thorne’s arm roughly and brought him to his knees, causing Thorne to grunt in pain again. The first guard, who had proven himself to be one of high status, grabbed Thorne’s other arm and together they dragged him back the way they had come.

They passed the wheel of cording Thorne and Cress had hid behind and Thorne dared to peek behind it, hoping that if Cress was still there, he didn’t give her away. Thankfully, she was nowhere to be seen.

One of the guards raised the device from earlier up to his mouth and barked some command. Thorne hung his head, defeated. Maybe he couldn’t be heroic anymore. But Cress still could. Cress was still out there, with the chip and a handgun. He didn’t think she knew how to use the weapon, but she’d figure it out. She was a lot braver than she knew.

The more he thought about it, the more Thorne realized that the mission would still succeed, even without his help. Cinder and Cress and the others were more than capable of stopping Levana. And when they did, the world would rejoice and they would become heroes. They didn’t need to worry about a military deserter anymore.

They would all miss him, he knew. Cress, especially, now that he’d practically confessed his love for her. But better people than him could love her, and he hoped someday she’d find someone to fill the void he would leave. All he wanted was for her to be safe and happy.

He found he didn’t really mind his fate if it meant Cress would be okay. He supposed that was what being in love was all about.

**Author's Note:**

> This turned out a lot longer than I expected, but I had so many ideas as to what was going through Thorne's mind in these chapters. I hope you enjoyed! Feedback and kudos are always, always appreciated! :)


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